Understanding matrescence is crucial because it helps normalise the immense shifts new mothers experience. These changes are not random; they are important to help new mothers bond with their babies and understand their unique communication cues.
However, if these transformations are unexpected or unacknowledged, they can be incredibly challenging.
The Multifaceted Shifts of Matrescence: Emotional, Physical & Psychological Changes
The journey of matrescence is far from linear. It encompasses a wide spectrum of emotions and experiences. Many new mothers report feeling an overwhelming mix of anxiety and joy, gratitude and exhaustion. It’s common to experience a sense of grief for the loss of their old life and identity, even as they embrace the new one. This isn’t a sign of ungratefulness; it’s a natural part of integrating a new, expansive identity.
Physically, the body undergoes immense transformations during pregnancy, birth, and postpartum. Hormonal fluctuations can impact mood, energy levels, and even cognitive function. Emotionally, the demands of constant care, sleep deprivation, and the immense responsibility of a new life can lead to feelings of being overwhelmed. Psychologically, a woman’s entire worldview can shift as she navigates her new role and the profound love and vulnerability that comes with it.
Why Acknowledge Matrescence? The Importance of Recognition for New Mothers
When we acknowledge matrescence, we create a space for new mothers to understand that what they are feeling is normal. It’s not a personal failing or a sign they are “not coping.” It’s a natural, albeit intense, developmental stage. Recognising this period helps validate the complex emotions and experiences, fostering self-compassion and encouraging seeking support. Without this understanding, mothers might internalise their struggles, believing they are alone in their feelings, which can exacerbate anxiety and isolation.
Strategies to Navigate Matrescence Successfully
Navigating the complexities of matrescence requires proactive strategies and a supportive environment. Here are some approaches that can help:
1. Join a Mothers’ Group
Connecting with other new parents in a mothers’ group can be incredibly powerful. Sharing experiences helps normalise the rollercoaster of emotions and challenges. You’ll quickly discover that many other mothers are feeling similar things – from the overwhelming love to the exhaustion, the joy to the moments of doubt. This interaction provides validation, practical tips, and a sense of community that can combat feelings of isolation. These groups often become a vital source of ongoing support and friendship.
2. Build a Strong Support Network
Before the birth, proactively set up a strong support network. This includes family and friends who can offer practical help, emotional support, or simply be a listening ear. Don’t be afraid to ask for help with meals, jobs, or childcare for older siblings. Having a reliable network in place can significantly reduce stress and allow you to focus on bonding with your baby and tending to your own well-being. Clearly communicate your needs and be open to accepting assistance.
3. Prioritise Self-Care
Self-care isn’t a luxury; it’s essential during matrescence. You cannot pour from an empty cup. Make self-care a significant priority, even if it’s just in small pockets of time. This could mean taking a short walk outdoors, enjoying a warm shower, reading a book for 15 minutes, or simply having a cup of tea in peace. Regular opportunities for a break, a walk, or a swim – and crucially, baby-free time – will recharge your physical and emotional reserves. Remember, taking care of yourself allows you to be a more present and patient parent.
4. Practice Mindfulness
Mindfulness involves being present and aware of the current moment without judgement. For new mothers, this can involve simple practices like focusing on your breath for a few minutes, mindfully eating a meal, or truly experiencing a moment of connection with your baby. Mindfulness can help manage anxiety, reduce stress, and cultivate a deeper appreciation for the small joys amidst the challenges. Apps and online resources can provide guided meditations tailored for new parents.
Try guided meditations from Headspace for new mothers.
5. Be Realistic About Expectations
There’s no such thing as a “perfect mother.” The pressure to be flawless can be immense and incredibly damaging. Be realistic about your expectations for yourself, your baby, and your new life. Every parent is just trying to do their best. Acknowledge that some days will be harder than others, and that’s perfectly normal. Release the pressure of perfection and embrace the messy, beautiful reality of new motherhood. Focus on progress, not perfection, and celebrate the small wins.
6. Seek Professional Help If Needed
If you are struggling and these strategies aren’t enough, it’s crucial to reach out for professional help. There is no shame in seeking support. Your General Practitioner (GP) is an excellent first point of contact and can provide referrals. Child and Family Health Nurses (CFHN) also offer invaluable support and guidance.
Additionally, organisations like PANDA (Perinatal Anxiety & Depression Australia), Gidget Foundation Australia, and COPE (Centre of Perinatal Excellence) provide excellent information, resources, and support for perinatal mental health challenges. Websites like Raising Children Network and Triple P (Positive Parenting Program) also offer a wealth of information and strategies for parents.
Embrace Your Transformation
Matrescence is a profound and often intense period of transformation. By understanding what it entails, implementing supportive strategies, and knowing when to seek professional help, you can navigate this incredible journey with greater awareness and resilience. Embrace the changes, be kind to yourself, and remember that you are not alone.
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